Congrats! You have just doubled your love and added a perfect new addition to your family. Of course you have already mentally prepared yourself for what might happen now being a mother of 2. You’ve given your first born lots of pep talks, preparing he/she for their new role as a big brother or sister. The hospital visit went okay, he gave his new brother/sister a kiss on the forehead and sat awkwardly next to you on the hospital bed still not understanding why you couldn’t come home.
Okay… The big day has arrived you can come home. Your thinking of a million different senarios as to how your going to develop a routine so both children get equal amount of attention. You keep asking your husband, “how do you think it’s going to go?” And he so sympathetically responds, “who knows I’m sure they’ll be fine…” Thanks hunny.
Well here’s the truth mom: THEY WILL BE FINE. You’re not even in the door yet and you’re judging yourself by not being able to lift and hug your first born because you just had a c section and can’t lift anything more than your new born baby. A tear rolls down your face because every day for the rest of their life will be change and no matter how many pep talks you gave him he really wasn’t prepared for this. Don’t beat yourself up, you’re not alone.
If you find a magic book telling you how to be perfect, TOSS IT IN THE GARBAGE because you already are perfect in your children’s eyes. Yes it’s already been 3 weeks and you’ve yelled a million times. All of a sudden you have these expectations for your oldest to be more independent when he’s never had to get his own snack or wash his hands alone after going potty. You’ve watched him go to bed with daddy as he’s crying for mommy but you can’t move right now because your in the middle of a feeding. Just stop and ask yourself, does he end up falling asleep just fine with daddy? Yes, yes he does.
There’s no such thing as a perfect day but your day is filled up with perfect moments. Moments that you can hold in your heart even when they only lasted 30 seconds but you can pat yourself on the back.
Embrace this type of crazy because your not alone.
Until next time…