So I’ve been a mom going on 4 years, I’d say I’ve experience some real life lessons along the way. Typically with the help of my husband, we generally figure it all out with some bumps, spilled sippy cups, and crushed gold fish.
See it’s not really the mom thing I’m lacking confidence in, it’s the me factor. The question of who the heck am I when I’m not scheduling someone else’s doctor appointments, changing diapers, packing lunches, and picking out school clothes. I really have no idea what I would do on a day that did not require some form of attention on these two little minions.
Some might say that I’m super fortunate that my kids are healthy and I have a career to call my own… And yes they’re right. But that doesn’t mean I sometimes feel confused and misunderstood when I see young business woman climbing to the top of their careers, couples having endless conversations about THEMSELVES! If my husband were put in a room with zero distractions and had the opportunity to discuss anything in the world, I would bet my life right now anything that was said would circle back to our children.
I know, I’m feeling the eye rolls as we speak. But it’s hard to know I am seen in no other light than what I am to my kids. That, that definition is quite possibly the only thing that could define me. Who am I? Sometimes I want to be adventurous. Sometimes I want to be more independent. Sometimes I want to be more willing to speak up on topics that challenge me. Not all of the time just sometimes.
I don’t know if I’ll ever get to that point. Maybe when the kids are gone, and it’s just my husband and I sitting on our front porch. By then so much time will have passed us by I hope we don’t lose track of ourselves that long. The young, flirtatious girl he once knew, I once knew is still there… Somewhere?