So what is it that classifies us as “cool moms?” Is it the way we dress, how many day dates we spend at the playground and Starbucks? I think what really matters is what our kids think of us and what we think of ourselves. I’m just over here trying to raise two little gentlemen and keep my head above water.
I often remind myself to take deep breaths, and remember that I am the boss of my house, but who am I kidding? The real CEO’s are my kids and I’m an employee who works 365 days out of the year and around the clock. However, my form of payment makes me rich, rich, rich!
1. I think one thing to keep in perspective while being a “cool mom” is that it is okay not to give them everything they want. What would I be teaching them if I didn’t give them a chance to earn whatever it is they wanted? Also keeping in mind the gift of time. To me making memories and going on new adventures is much more valuable than anything tangible. Today is my husband birthday and I asked my oldest what it was he wanted to get Daddy for his birthday. His response showed me how cool I really am when he said
Mom I already got him a gift, love!”
My 5 year old really understands love – I must be doing something right!
2. I love seeing how independent they’re becoming – I actually enjoy saying NO! Obviously not with everything, but when my oldest asks me to get him a snack, I gladly tell him no that Mommy is busy and I have put all his snacks on the bottom shelf of the pantry so he is able to pick out his own! Now more often than not he won’t even ask and just goes and get one! He also enjoys telling me no! Shocker right? He wants to put his own shoes on, get dressed by himself, zipper his coat, and even brush his teeth without me helping him! How cool is that?!
My littlest one loves to push up the chair to our drawer and get his pinky and his own silverware. He doesn’t want me to help him eat and he loves to show me his skill in taking off socks and shoes. Even the smallest of things remind me that I am doing something right.
3. Let them be silly… with you. Stay home, stay in pajamas, and make sprinkled pancakes.
It’s good for your soul!
So I challenge you Mommies what makes you cool? Leave a comment to share!
I never understood this term at first. I honestly thought this Felicia girl was just really popular. Well for the past month while juggling two kiddos I can tell you #byefelicia has taken a whole new meaning in my life.
When your mother tells you not to be surprised that after children you lose friends, don’t be. Don’t be surprised because it does and it will happen to you. Your single or non parent friends don’t really get the sacrifices you’re making and where your priorities stand. Sometimes you’ll get a few who really look up to the “new you” as a mom and stand by your side as you embrace it. Those are the good ones. Invite them for wine nights, share your kids snacks, and send them a thank you text because they deserve it.
I used to think I was pretty good at being a friend while still a mom. No I wasn’t able to sit at a restaurant long, I ordered coffee instead of a fun beverage, and I never really finished a complete thought. However, I have an awesome husband who didn’t mind me taking girls nights without our little one and tip a few back.
Well fast forward 3 years later I now have 2 children. Guess what, I’m really bad at being a friend now, but don’t hold that against me because I’m working really hard on being a great mom. And when you’re a mom I’ll be there for you all 9 months and into the stages of parenthood to offer my laughs and advice. But until then, I won’t be meeting you at the bar because I’m on a feeding schedule with my newborn and my preschooler whose always hungry. I won’t be out shopping for myself because my shopping now contains diapers, clothes for my kids and extra sheets for those who pee the bed. I’ll rarely answer my phone because I usually give it to my preschooler to keep him occupied during times of need. If and when you do get me on the phone talk fast because in 2 seconds I’ll have someone whose hungry, can’t find his favorite toy, or is crying from gas pains. And the biggest thing is 90% of my plans will fall through because whatever they need me for will always trump what you will need. It sounds harsh, but that’s where I’m at.
That being said, this life isn’t for everyone but it’s the life for me. If you can’t see yourself being a part of my crazy, it’s okay I’m not mad and I fully understand. I only have one thing to say to you… #byefelicia
Let’s start this out by saying as mothers and wives, lets me honest every day is our day.
Our day to make sure our husbands and children have what they need to function throughout their day. Our day to pack lunches, come up the dinner idea for the week, work shirts are ironed, diaper bags are filled for daycare, homework is double checked or complete. We are every day super heroes and it’s about time we wear our capes proud! Facebook and social media recognition is not what we’re looking for is it ladies? It’s the goodbye kiss from our husbands, the look he gives you like the first day he laid eyes on you. It’s the “you’re my best friend mom” from our toddler that has had a no good very bad day.
No matter what happens, how many tears we’ve shed, or upset stomachs from not a very good cooked meal we tried and we have succeeded!
Shout out to you ladies! Enjoy your 5 extra minutes in the shower today!
Congrats! You have just doubled your love and added a perfect new addition to your family. Of course you have already mentally prepared yourself for what might happen now being a mother of 2. You’ve given your first born lots of pep talks, preparing he/she for their new role as a big brother or sister. The hospital visit went okay, he gave his new brother/sister a kiss on the forehead and sat awkwardly next to you on the hospital bed still not understanding why you couldn’t come home.
Okay… The big day has arrived you can come home. Your thinking of a million different senarios as to how your going to develop a routine so both children get equal amount of attention. You keep asking your husband, “how do you think it’s going to go?” And he so sympathetically responds, “who knows I’m sure they’ll be fine…” Thanks hunny.
Well here’s the truth mom: THEY WILL BE FINE. You’re not even in the door yet and you’re judging yourself by not being able to lift and hug your first born because you just had a c section and can’t lift anything more than your new born baby. A tear rolls down your face because every day for the rest of their life will be change and no matter how many pep talks you gave him he really wasn’t prepared for this. Don’t beat yourself up, you’re not alone.
If you find a magic book telling you how to be perfect, TOSS IT IN THE GARBAGE because you already are perfect in your children’s eyes. Yes it’s already been 3 weeks and you’ve yelled a million times. All of a sudden you have these expectations for your oldest to be more independent when he’s never had to get his own snack or wash his hands alone after going potty. You’ve watched him go to bed with daddy as he’s crying for mommy but you can’t move right now because your in the middle of a feeding. Just stop and ask yourself, does he end up falling asleep just fine with daddy? Yes, yes he does.
There’s no such thing as a perfect day but your day is filled up with perfect moments. Moments that you can hold in your heart even when they only lasted 30 seconds but you can pat yourself on the back.
Embrace this type of crazy because your not alone.
Until next time…